Mistakes – Learning to View Them as Growing Experiences

“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalm 46:5

Well, this is something I need to learn how to do. This semester, I took four classes: English II, Spanish II, Humanities, and Statistics. I am also serving as a stage manager for a professor I took a theatre appreciation class this past Fall 2020 semester. I did not realize how much a stage manager does until the first rehearsal. I show up an hour early, make sure all of the actors are present, bring all of the props into the theatre, give time checks throughout the night, and write all rehearsal reports (time slot plays-by-plays with important notes from the director).

Honestly, I agreed to be the stage manager because I had so much fun acting for the theatre appreciation class last semester. I needed some planned social interaction that wasn’t in front of a screen (something that became very rare with all the COVID-19 lockdowns). I thought it wouldn’t affect my classes too much. When I was acting four nights a week, I was also taking six classes. I could still make high A’s in all the said classes. I only had four classes to take this semester, so I figured I would be fine.

Now, math has never been my strong suit. This is pretty common for people with ADHD since we lack strong memories and have trouble concentrating. Fortunately, due to my parents’ and teachers’ help when I was young, I have pulled out strong Bs in all of the math classes I have had to take in both high school and college. Because of this good track record, I was confident that I would pull a high B in the class.

Unfortunately, the only options for the course were completely online. This means that there are no lectures, class meetings, or study groups. Everything is learn-at-your-own-pace, entirely on your own. Learning material for a class on your own can be complex in the best circumstances. Still, when you already struggle with online courses and are not good at math, this combination of harmful factors can be detrimental to one’s grade. This was the case for me.

Making an Important Decision

I was informed last Thursday via a mass-sent email that Friday was the last day to drop the Statistics class and still receive a W for the course (meaning that I withdrew from the class without penalty). I looked at my estimated final grade for the course, which was lower than a B, which could be risky for my standing in the Honors College when calculated into my overall GPA. Our professor had also told us that our course would only get more complicated the further we went in the semester. I was not confident I could raise my grade. This was an incredibly considerable concern because I am dedicating to being a stage manager taking away most of the time I could have had to study the material or hire a tutor personally.

I prayed about it and talked to my Mom and some friends who knew more about college records and paperwork than I do. I decided to drop the course and retake it next semester when the college offered on-campus classes again.

I completed the paperwork by the end of Thursday and was dropped from the course without penalty by Friday. I had conflicted feelings. I knew I could do this better in a different setting, but dropping the class felt like giving up. Due to my perfectionism, quitting has always felt like giving up, which has always felt shameful.

Was I Giving Up?

However, after thinking about it for a few days, I realized that I wasn’t giving up. I was going to try again in a setting that better suits me. The more people I talked to, the more I realized that dropping a class was not uncommon and sometimes was the wiser decision. Sometimes, things just don’t line up in a way that allows you to excel in a situation, and it is wiser to try again when some of the other circumstances in your life have changed.

Would I have needed to drop the class if I wasn’t working as a stage manager? I honestly don’t know and decided not to dwell on it. I don’t regret becoming a stage manager, as it has been a valuable learning experience that has taught me many things about my abilities. I think it was just a case of right-thing-wrong-time.

My Final Thoughts

My experience in this situation highlights an important aspect of personal and professional growth – the ability to acknowledge when a situation becomes overwhelming and the wisdom to step back or regroup for a more ideal moment. This acknowledgment reflects a deep understanding of one’s own capabilities and a sense of self-assurance that improvement is not just possible but expected when conditions are better. This mindset can help with learning adaptability and resilience, both essential qualities for navigating the complexities that life throws at you, both in academia and the workplace. Embracing the notion that it’s acceptable to hit pause, recalibrate, and return with renewed energy is an important part of any person’s developmental journey.

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Until next time!