“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalm 46:5
A few months ago, I discovered a hobby that quickly became a new hyperfixation. I tried it once and was immediately hooked, and I have even roped my friends into doing this hobby with me.
Before you get concerned and think you might need to tell my parents, it’s Pilates. Yes, I am indeed fulfilling the mid-20s white girl cliché.
I have exercise-induced asthma, which, together with my generalized anxiety disorder, has always made intense cardio like running very difficult. That was why I was relieved to find a type of fitness that doesn’t trigger asthma or anxiety attacks.
It took me a while to work up the courage to try Pilates. However, I had not realized how much my body missed regular movement until I started attending a class after work once or twice a week. The soreness the next morning was oddly satisfying, and I noticed I had more energy and felt more present in my body.
Why Was I Nervous To Try Out Pilates?
I am embarrassed to admit that I didn’t include a weekly workout in my schedule until I was a year into my professional career. Despite now spending most of my time at my desk or in the car, I made excuses for neglecting my physical health.
I said things like “I’m still getting used to an 8–5 schedule,” or “I’m just too busy right now.”
But if I’m honest, the real reason wasn’t my schedule. I was anxious about everything surrounding the workout, not the workout itself. What if I were the least fit? What if the instructor corrected me publicly? My mind had already constructed a humiliating story before entering the studio.
So, How Did Pilates Actually Go?
Honestly, I fell in love with Pilates very quickly. It only took a couple of local community mat Pilates classes for me to be all in. I went in on a monthly ClassPass subscription, and branched out from mat Pilates to reformer and heated mat Pilates (which I discovered I definitely did NOT enjoy).
I loved that I had found an intentional, accessible workout that targeted the muscles I had neglected for far too long. Pilates focuses on core strength and stability, using controlled movements that I had not experienced in other fitness routines. The best part? Pilates does not trigger my asthma or anxiety, which has been a huge relief compared with other physical activities I had tried in the past.
All Pilates moves are demonstrated before the class attempts them, making each session less intimidating. The instructors are attentive and skilled, and 99% of them offer modifications for individuals who are not comfortable with the more difficult exercises. This inclusive atmosphere has created a space where everyone feels welcome, regardless of their fitness level.
When Anxiety Turns Into Paranoia
So… why did it take me so long to try Pilates when I clearly ended up enjoying it immensely?
Looking back, I realize I wasn’t avoiding Pilates because I was busy. I was avoiding it because my anxiety had already convinced me it would go badly.
Anxiety-fueled paranoia occurs when your brain turns a small uncertainty into a worst-case scenario. A short email feels like proof that someone is upset with you, a delayed text feels personal, and a new environment makes it seem like everyone is judging you.
Your brain fills in the blanks with the most negative explanation possible. The frustrating part is that, in the moment, these thoughts do not feel irrational. They feel logical. They feel like preparation.
But most of the time, they are just stories your anxiety is telling you.
Flashbacks to My Tween Years
A good example is from my experience in martial arts as a tween, when I often had asthma/anxiety attacks before, during, and after sparring matches or strenuous exercises. I would often have to sit with my head between my legs, on the verge of hyperventilating, while other students were perfectly fine moving on to the next activity or round of sparring.
I always felt so exposed and felt that people saw me as out of shape, even though I attended class often and was in very good health. I was terrified that somehow, Pilates would be a repeat of that.
How To Bring Anxiety-Fueled Paranoia to a Full Stop
Over time, I’ve learned a few ways to interrupt these spirals before they completely take over.
1. Identify the Story Your Brain Is Telling
The first step is recognizing when anxiety has switched into storytelling mode. Instead of treating the thought as fact, try labeling it: “My brain is telling me everyone is judging me.” Creating that distance helps you remember that your thoughts are not always reliable narrators.
2. Ask Yourself: “What Evidence Do I Actually Have?”
Anxiety thrives in the absence of evidence. When I asked myself what proof I had that Pilates would be humiliating, the honest answer was none. I did not have evidence that people would judge me. I just had a story. When you pause and examine the evidence, anxiety-driven assumptions often start to lose their power.
3. Separate Feelings From Facts
One of the hardest parts of anxiety is that feelings can mimic facts. If something feels embarrassing or threatening, your brain assumes it is. I was convinced my first Pilates class would be awkward, but in reality, the instructor was kind, and most people were focused on their own workout. My feelings were loud, but they were not factual.
4. Take the Small Step Anyway
Sometimes the only way to prove anxiety wrong is to move forward despite it. I did not conquer my anxiety before trying Pilates. I simply attended one class and saw what happened. Often, the anticipation is worse than the experience itself. Avoidance may feel safer, but it usually reinforces the fear. Small actions can slowly retrain your brain.
5. Pay Attention When Reality Contradicts the Fear
When the thing you were worried about doesn’t happen, take note of it. Your brain needs evidence of safety just as much as it needs evidence of danger. After my first Pilates class, I realized that none of my imagined scenarios had actually occurred. No one laughed at me. No one seemed to notice I was new. The instructor was patient and helpful. The reality was far less dramatic than the story my anxiety had created. And now Pilates has become something I genuinely look forward to every week.
Anxiety Is Not Always Truthful (Shockingly)
Anxiety-driven paranoia can transform everyday moments into threatening situations and blow small doubts out of proportion. This kind of distorted thinking can cloud our judgment, causing us to feel stressed and to avoid situations, which then makes things worse. But mostly, the stories that anxiety whispers to us are just that: stories.
Learning to pause and question disruptive thoughts, then move forward with kindness, can break the cycle of fear and hesitation. This mindful approach helps us regain control and see clearly, reminding us that feelings are temporary sensations.
Sometimes, things your anxiety warned against can become enjoyable, opening doors to new experiences and connections. Moving past discomfort uncovers strengths and opportunities that lead to happiness.
Please like, comment, and subscribe if you connected with my post and if you would like to see more of my crazy, exciting journey through life with Christ while experiencing mental illness. Every interaction I receive here means the world to me. Thank you, and God bless you!
Until next time!
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