“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go.” Genesis 28:15
If you are like me, then you have had this experience before. You are going throughout your day when you take a break to check your socials, scrolling through Instagram, X, or FaceBook (if you are old-school). During that, you start to feel that you are being bombarded with pictures and videos of friends celebrating promotions, engagements, or new homes. Bit by bit, it makes you start to feel like you are falling behind in achieving your own life milestones.
Or maybe you’ve had family members remind you that by your age, they had already accomplished things you haven’t yet. People in their 70s or even late 40s sometimes like to remind us younger adults how when they were our age, they’d already got married to their spouse, bought a big house, and already had at least one or (alarmingly) two kids.
What I’m getting at is that life milestones, like landing your dream job, getting married, or starting a family, are often painted as markers of success. That is incorrect. The truth is that everyone’s timeline looks different. And that’s okay.
Table of Contents:
Why Do We Feel Pressure To Keep Up?
The pressure to meet certain life milestones is deeply ingrained in society. This pressure comes from social media, cultural expectations, family traditions, and even our self-comparisons.
Psychologists explain this through a concept called “social clock theory.” The social clock refers to the cultural timeline for major life events, such as graduating, getting married, or starting a family. When we feel like we’re behind this “schedule,” it can trigger anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression.
For those with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), this feeling of “falling behind” can become overwhelming. Anxiety often fuels intrusive thoughts like:
- “Everyone else has it figured out — why don’t I?”
- “If I haven’t achieved [milestone] by now, I must be failing.”
- “I’ll never be able to catch up.”
These anxious thoughts can create a cycle of avoidance, perfectionism, or overworking — all in an attempt to feel “in control.” However, I have found that to feel more in control of our own lives, we set ridiculously high standards for ourselves, which inevitably increases the pressure and anxiety we feel to meet our self-imposed deadlines.
The World Has Changed – So Has Life Milestones
It’s important to recognize that the timelines many of us grew up expecting — or the ones our parents followed — no longer reflect the world we live in today. Over the past two decades, significant social, economic, and cultural changes have shifted how people approach major milestones. For example:
Career Paths Are Less Linear: Gone are the days when people would find one career and stick with it for life. Research shows that today’s professionals will change jobs roughly a dozen times during their careers. This means taking longer to reach financial stability or leadership roles.
Education Takes Longer: College enrollment rates have increased significantly since the early 2000s, with more people pursuing advanced degrees. This means career entry points are often delayed compared to previous generations.
Financial Realities Are Different: Rising living costs, student debt, and economic uncertainty mean many young adults postpone milestones like homeownership or starting a family. With the economy being what it is, many young people have put off purchasing a home due to financial challenges.
Marriage and Parenthood Are Happening Later: In the U.S., the average age for first marriages has risen to 30 for men and 28 for women. In the early 2000s, it was closer to 26 and 24, respectively. Parenthood has also shifted, with more people choosing to have children later in life — or not at all.
These shifts don’t signal failure. They reflect the reality that modern life is more complex, and people are navigating their goals in new and thoughtful ways.
For individuals with GAD, understanding these changes can help ease the anxiety that stems from comparing yourself to outdated expectations.
How Comparisons Can Impact Your Mental Health
Constantly measuring your life against others can significantly impact your well-being. Studies have linked social comparison — especially via social media — to increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
For individuals with GAD, this effect can be heightened. Anxiety often magnifies perceived shortcomings, making it harder to recognize your progress. When we compare ourselves to others, we usually measure our internal struggles against their external successes. This distorted view can make us feel like we’re behind when, in reality, we’re simply walking a different path.
Viewing Life Milestones From A Christian Perspective
If you have grown up in The Church as I have, this pressure to settle down with “a nice boy/girl” and have kids is probably even higher. This is the favorite conversation topic for the unofficial aunts and uncles within the congregation. It isn’t unusual to start to feel like you are lagging. Sometimes, within the Christian community, it seems people are always getting married or having another kid.
I want you to remember that God’s timing is not ours. Just because everyone from your youth group has already gotten engaged doesn’t mean you have gone against God’s plan for your life—just the opposite. As God made us all unique, creating each of us with our distinct qualities and paths, He also has a unique journey for each of us. Trusting in that divine timing is essential, understanding that the wait can be a period of growth, preparation, and deepening faith. Embrace this time in your life as an opportunity to develop your character, pursue your passions, and strengthen your relationship with God. The more we align ourselves with His purpose, the more we can appreciate the beauty of the journey we’re on, knowing that our time will come in accordance with His perfect plan.
Practical Tips For Embracing Your Unique Pace
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to “catch up,” here are some strategies to help you embrace your own pace:
Redefine Success: Ask yourself what you truly value. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, consider what milestones align with your personal goals and lifestyle.
Celebrate Non-Traditional Wins: Success isn’t just about career promotions or relationships. Growth can mean learning to manage anxiety, building meaningful friendships, or developing a new skill.
Limit Unhelpful Comparisons: Social media can fuel feelings of inadequacy. Try to curate your feed with content that uplifts you rather than triggers self-doubt.
Focus on What You Can Control: While some milestones depend on timing, others are within your power. Celebrate progress in areas you can influence, like nurturing your mental health, pursuing hobbies, or strengthening relationships.
Embrace the Power of “Yet”: Remember to focus on the word yet when stressed about life milestones. Just because you haven’t reached a goal yet doesn’t mean you won’t. Progress takes time, and patience with yourself is key.
Remember: Your Path Is Yours Alone
No one else’s timeline can define your worth. Life isn’t a race — it’s a journey full of unexpected turns, detours, and discoveries. God has placed you on your path, and the milestones associated with it might come at unusual times.
You are not behind. You’re just moving forward at your own pace. And that pace is exactly where you’re meant to be.
So next time you feel pressured to “catch up,” remind yourself: Growth isn’t measured by when you hit milestones but by how you keep going.
Please like, comment, and subscribe if you connected with my post and if you would like to see more of my crazy, exciting journey through life with Christ while experiencing mental illness. Every interaction I receive here means the world to me. Thank you, and God bless you!
Until next time!
I love using YET for myself!